Many of you have DMd me along the way just to check in with a simple, “how are you doing,” “thinking of you,” or simply wondering how our grieving and healing process is going. You don’t know how much I appreciate this. As time goes on, those that are lucky enough to not be aware of exactly how the grieving process goes, it’s full of leaps and bounds and times where you feel you’re moving forward and then you’re setback. You’ll be feeling good for a period of time with some hard moments along the way but then a memory will come to you that’s so vivid it hits like a ton of bricks and your set right back to where you were months prior. I promised in the new year I would openly share my feelings a bit more on days when I was up for talking about it and after all, I always want to keep it real with you guys and though I always want to share the happy fun stuff, our grieving process is a very big part of my life also, not to mention my sons name is music to my ears.
Every day has difficult moments for us and I’d be dishonest if I said we don’t have plenty of reasons to smile and plenty of reasons to feel grateful,thankful and blessed; for our family, friends, supportive community, my loyal followers, our beautiful girls and our newest addition on the way, our house we made a home, the accomplishments we’ve made thus far through the foundation and how very far we’ve come to name a few. We have promised one another we are and will still do all we can to live our best life, embrace our story and own it with our guardian angel guiding us and showing us the way. We have goals, hopes and dreams and we will fulfill them. We have come to terms that our grieving and healing process is a lifelong journey and one that will always stay with us as it’s not something we can ever get over but rather something we have learned to live with. I can’t say it’s gotten any easier with time as the pain is still there but it doesn’t come to us as often but when it does, it hurts just as much if that makes sense. Over time, we have learned to cope and grieve as a family in a healthy way. We talk about happy memories of Bryce openly in our household and we want his siblings to know him. His bedroom and soon to be baby brother’s nursery is a healthy place we go and talk to him, cry, laugh and everything in between. Lyla knows him as our family guardian angel and the big brother that makes rainbows and for that, she feels so very lucky and special. I have found along the way that Rich and I both grieve differently yet we are still moving forward, grieving and healing together and respectful of one another’s needs and it’s actually brought us closer together and stronger in more ways than we ever thought possible. I have learned to be able to take my feelings out when I need to feel them and put them away when I need to so I can still be very present for our children that need the best version of me. This is something that was quite challenging for me shortly after Bryce’s passing as there were days I just wanted to wallow in my sadness and be with him mentally and focus on him in every way I could. There are many things that have helped me in our grieving and healing process personally and I share this in hopes that maybe I can help others too; some of which have been writing, getting creative and finding and making beauty around me with my Sunshine Inc. Blog. My blog and projects for the Bryce Memorial Foundation keep me very busy and focused in a healthy, productive way and it‘s been so good for me. Music always helps, and keeping busy with my girls and Rich, the rest of my family and friends to name a few. I find the best therapy of all is a good cry with a family member or best friend. As many of you know, I also started writing a book. I have three goals with my book, those being; to to share our story to the extent we feel comfortable with out of respect for my family, help others and to raise awareness. It will take some time. Writing this book has been a big part of my grieving and healing process and very helpful for my mind, heart and soul. I am able to express myself in a way that I wouldn’t necessarily be able to otherwise and it’s helped me to share my feelings and get it out on paper. As I have shared, this book is a work in progress as it’s very difficult to write at times and many breaks are much needed for my mental health but I will be sure to keep everyone updated along the way. Doing good things in our son’s honor really helps us a great deal in our healing process. After founding the Bryce Memorial Foundation, we have raised close to 40K, we’ve taken part in fundraisers, gift drives, made many donations including scholarships and to other organizations to name a few. Our latest and biggest donation thus far will be “rainbow railroad” that will be donated to a local playground in our town for all the community, family and friends to enjoy. We truly appreciate everyone following along on our healing journey and all the love and support everyone has given us. By my being able to share with you, I hope that I can somehow help or even inspire others that may have gone through some sort of loss and in turn, this helps me. The pandemic has set us back a bit with our fundraising process and raised some challenges for us as we are not able to do large events but we feel it’s also forced us to take time to slow down and process our grief as a family and though very hard, we feel it’s been a blessing in disguise. We truly appreciate all your donations thus far! If you are looking to donate you can find the link on our website. We are approaching the anniversary to our son’s tragic accident and this time of year is extremely difficult for us and always will be. We sincerely thank you for helping us keep our son’s memory alive. Without you, all of this would not be possible. I will be sure to continue to keep you updated along the way and if any questions or needing any updates, be sure to DM me or you can visit our Bryce Memorial website for all the latest up to date information on donations and fundraisers and more. Bryce, keep coloring our skies with your vibrant rainbows of love, light, hope and strength and we will do all that we can to make you proud.
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I can’t thank you all enough for allowing me to have a safe place to share my thoughts and my heart. We are beyond lucky to have such amazing, supportive family, friends, community and my loyal followers behind us. Lots of love and appreciation always!
❤️🌈-Courtney
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