After the passing of our son, as time went on and I did some healing and grieving, I had this inner voice that I would some day do 3 things; share our story, help others and raise awareness. I thought through writing my book I would be able to do all three of these but I realize now the book I have been writing is meant for me and my healing. Though I want to share our story, help others and raise awareness, I don’t know if I’ll ever be fully ready to do so openly and publicly as it just hurts way too gut-wrenching much for us and it always will. I realize that through my healing that I’ve already been doing these three things all along through every personal conversation I feel comfortable with having with those that have been there for us that we love, with those other fellow moms that reach out to me who are grieving and need help, giving advice or quite simply just lending an ear, to those we have sadly served as an example to however now are safe from these predicaments and situations because their parents think twice and think of us when they otherwise wouldn’t have, by creating our foundation and our purpose and our goals and carrying on our sons legacy and so much more. I have done these three things so for these reasons, I have decided to switch gears and write a children’s book.
After our son passed, one of the hardest things for me was to somehow wrap my head around how I would make our nearly one year old daughter Lyla understand, in a way that she could that her big brother was not coming back. She would say his name, she would reach out, she would look around, she would stare at Bryce’s empty chair at the dinner table, and his empty car seat beside her. It was all the hardest thing in the entire world for Rich and I but then on top of it all, to see our daughter sad just completely did us in!!!!!
I decided that with my past experience teaching pre- k, being a Mom of four, one of which is our Angel and being a Mom to children that have a sibling as an Angel that this is what my heart and my mind wanted. I decided to write a book to help both parents and children who have lost children and siblings in similar situations as ours, to help them understand in somewhat of a softer less harsh way. To our children, Bryce though we cannot see him physically, he is always here with us and will always be their big brother. Bryce is our guardian Angel and “the one that makes the rainbows.”
This book helps put it in a way littles and siblings can understand and hopefully makes them feel a bit better about their circumstances.
This is a work in progress and a project that won’t be done overnight but an important goal of mine that I hope to someday complete and share with you.
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